IELTS WRITING TASK 02 – SAMPLE ESSAYS (BAND SCORE 9) – TOPIC 02

IELTS WRITING TASK 02 – SAMPLE ESSAYS (BAND SCORE 9)

Topic 02: Many people today find that the cost of attaining a University-level education is extremely high for the students and their families. What are the causes of this situation, and how can governments, Universities and the students themselves overcome the problem?

 

Sample Essay

While many young people aspire to attending University, the expense involved can be prohibitive in some cases. The causes of this appear to be focused on three areas, and a number of solutions also appear to be possible.

 

Perhaps the major factor here is the reduction in government subsidy for University courses. For instance, in the UK, such courses were virtually free to the student until recently, but now cost around £30,000 per year. This pattern appears to be global, with the result that students and their families need to meet the costs directly. Another cause is the increasing cost of living in many countries, meaning that the cost of day to day life (in addition to fees) can be almost overwhelming for students. A third factor is the difficulty in finding part-time work while a student is studying. Such work tends to be poorly paid, while taking up time that students should use for their studies.

 

Turning to possible solutions, an obvious step would be to restore some element of state funding to courses. Although public budgets are under pressure these days, if we took this step it would greatly enhance access to courses for people on lower incomes. A second remedy might be for the Universities to offer shorter courses, or more courses with an element of professionally paid work experience included. If such courses were more available, it would reduce the issue of living expenses to some extent. Finally, students themselves should perhaps be more flexible in their attitude to education, and consider attending University at a later stage, or possibly only when they have accumulated sufficient funds to support themselves.

 

In summary, the factors of funding and cost of living appear to be the main causes. A coordinated response by the state, the institutions and the individuals may well lessen the severity of the situation.

 

Analysis

Chúng ta lại tiếp tục với những thế mạnh của bài nhé.

Introduction

Bài Essay mở đầu bằng một general background information nhằm nêu bật lên tại sao vấn đề này lại quan trọng. Khi nhìn vào câu 2 thì ngay lập tức người đọc sẽ hiểu ngay loại Essay mà người viết đang được yêu cầu, có sự xuất hiện của Impersonal language:

The causes of this appear to be focused on three areas, and a number of solutions also appear to be possible.

Nếu muốn các bạn có thể thay đổi bằng cách paraphrase đề bài theo nhiều cách nhưng đảm bảo sử dụng đúng Useful language

For causes

Origins

Roots

Factors

Underlying factors/causes

The factors stem from/derive from/flow from

 

For solutions

Remedies

Ways to solve

Methods to address/deal with

Answers to a problem

 

Conditional

Người viết rõ ràng rất hiểu đề bài nên sử dụng câu điều kiện để nói về một tình huống không thật ở hiện tại (hypothetical situation)I

If we took this step it would greatly enhance access to courses for people on lower incomes

If such courses were more available, it would reduce the issue of living expenses to some extent

Một lời khuyên dành cho bạn là nếu phải trình bày nhưng giải pháp (solutions) hay đề nghị (recommendations) thì câu Third Conditional nên được ưu tiên nhé.

 

Tentative language

Trước tiên bạn cần phải hiểu Tentative language là một dạng ngôn ngữ ướm thử, thăm dò. Khi bạn không chắc 100% điều mình cần nói thì hạn chế tối đa những cấu trúc quả quyết.

Example

Students should have a smartphone, as this helps them just in case.

Students should consider having a smartphone, as this tends to help them just in case.

Bài Essay đã vận dụng rất tốt kỹ ngôn ngữ này khi trình bày các quan điểm mà người viết unsure

 

the expense involved can be prohibitive

Perhaps the major factor

the cost of day to day life (in addition to fees) can be almost overwhelming

Such work tends to be

A second remedy might be

students themselves should perhaps be

and consider attending University at a later stage

A coordinated response . . . may well lessen the severity

 

Chúc các bạn ôn luyện IELTS thật hiệu quả!

Võ Minh Sử – Chủ sáng lập Luyện Ielts Homeschooling 
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