Writing task 2 Essay (16.07-IDP) – Đăng Khánh

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Ielts Writing task 2 topic: In many countries, governments are spending a large amount of money on improving internet access. Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money?

IELTS WRITING TASK 2 ESSAY:

It is true that a great deal of national budget has been used to enhance the Internet access in many nations. From my personal standpoint, this trend resulting from various reasons [it may change to for a variety of reasons, for numerous reasons, all things considered or in all respects] will not bring with it long-term benefits for the people [it may change the citizens or the population] as well as for the social development [the socio-economic development].

There are a variety of motives in terms of accommodating individuals’ requirements and the national enhancement. In fact, in some developed countries including Korea, Japan and the US, people often have a high demand of utilizing many online services for different purposes [people tend to put online services in high profile for various purposes], ranging from entertaining to keeping in touch with family and friends. Thus, the provision of high-speed internet connection is synonymous with the improvement of their living standards. In addition, in other fields such as business and entertainment, the firms and individuals do need a modern internet access that can enable [enables] them to generate more profits as well as enlarge their network of friends and contacts. For instance, in Korea, the governing body invested in upgrading the local mobile internet [implementing the system] from 4G to 5G in 2015, which allows businessmen and others to discuss the contracts online without any intervention.

Nevertheless, it is increasingly likely that this does not create many advantages for those from low-income families. It can be seen that the inhabitants in developing nations like Vietnam are facing a lot of pressing issues such as unemployment, pollution and illiteracy, while the authority is trying to improve the mobile internet connection. This is believed not to address those social problems, but to place more pressure on the national economy. Apart from that, the improvement of the Internet access is not the main precursor to the prosperity of the country, which is generated by many other major breakthroughs in relation to economy, finance, education and science.

In conclusion, prior to using government spending to develop the Internet access, the state should invest in education and health services that can raise people’s living standards.

Homeschooling’s Comments:

  • It’s a pleasure to read your writing since there are many good points to praise. Firstly, your essay is well-organized with ideas coherently supporting the main line of argument. Also, a wide and proper vocabulary range used make yours outstanding. That various grammatical structures are utilized together with the fact that it is nearly error free adds another strength to this piece of writing
  •  Keep up the good work and make it even better!

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Võ Minh Sử – Chủ sáng lập Homeschooling English Center